Why Ask Why

It was about 2 miles into my run when that little voice started to whisper in my ear.  "Why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to impress. You're slow and not good at any of this." It's hard not to listen to that voice when you are struggling through a 3 mile run in 90 degree heat.

I started with a 600 meter swim that went alright. I felt more comfortable in the pool and even practiced the lane changes required in a serpentine swim. I'm not sure why I'm struggling when I was able to swim 900 - 1000 meters with ease at the indoor pool. The water in the pool is not heating up very quickly either. The 100 degree days coming up should help that a little.

Then after a slow transition I started on my run. I finally bought a hydration belt and this was my first run with a water bottle on my back. It was hard to get used to the flopping up and down on my back and tightening up the strap just make it press against my stomach and make me feel uggg. I really wasn't doing too bad through the first 1.75 miles. But then that voice started talking to me as I struggled to get a rhythm going on that last mile. I had to walk way too much and didn't feel good at all. The belt pressing against my belly didn't help. I love having the water to squirt on my face and shoulders and the few sips I took were welcome. Something else I'll just have to get used to I guess.

"Why are you doing this, you aren't any good at it." Truer words have never been spoken. I'm not good at any of the disciplines. I'm an OK swimmer, a fair cyclist, and an awful runner. Add it all together and you get a really bad triathlete. As my feet shuffled along I had to really think hard to answer this question. I guess I'll use the standard response. "Because I Can." This is a hard race for me and knowing I can do something even though it's difficult only makes me stronger.

"What are you trying to prove?" I'm trying to prove that last year wasn't a fluke. That I am actually capable of completing this race with a smile and a thumbs up. I also want to prove that just because I'm in my 50s doesn't mean I have to sit on my tush and watch the world go by.

"Who are you trying to impress?" OK, I'll admit it. My ego really enjoys the positive comments directed my way. But as for impressing anyone, well, I know what I do isn't worthy of too much awe. Those who know what this is about are sure not impressed, and those that don't aren't really sure what it takes either. I guess "impress" is not the right word. I would say I'm trying to encourage and inspire others to at least try something out of their comfort zone.

I finished my run with a lot to think about. There are only 5 more hard workouts scheduled before the race and I will try to make the best of each one. The runs are not getting any easier so I'll have to enjoy the swim and ride as best I can and survive the 3 miles leading to the finish line. Why am I doing this? Good question. I'll let you know after the race.